Things I've learned from being married.

In General:

1. Your life just isn’t your own anymore. You are married for better or for worse. Make decisions that are best for YOURSELF and your SPOUSE. Oh, and don’t forget to discuss it with your spouse before making a decision on something, as insignificant as you think it may be because what you think might be best isn’t best for your spouse.
2. You know the whole don’t change for anyone quote that people like to throw around? Yeah. You’re MARRIED. If you want that relationship to last, you’re going to have to make changes. You’re going to have to suck things up and compromise. Setting goals for each other is a good thing!
3. It’s probably best to combine your finances. That way, there’s complete trust in each other. If you can’t do that, then why get married in the first place? Someone making more than the other person shouldn’t matter, you’re in it TOGETHER. Plus, it makes you think twice about spending money, because it’s not just yours anymore. Setting up a “just in case” or secret bank account is setting yourself up for failure, not only is it a sign of a lack of trust, but you’re telling yourself that things aren’t going to work and you need a way out.
4. If things get rough, and you disagree about something, and you’re both upset, walking away is NOT the best option. MARRIAGE isn’t something that you should walk away from. It takes TONS of work, every single day. Remember WHY you got married, and put in the effort to make things work.
5. Don’t ever put your spouse down. EVER. This person should be your best friend, your other half, your team mate in everything that you do. No one will ever be more important than the person you married. So be encouraging and supportive. You’re helping each other progress and become not just a better spouse, but a better person in general.

About being apart:

1. Every single trip possible to see each other is necessary. If you have the money, make it happen. If you don’t have the money, find a way to make it happen. Whether it’s for a weekend, or a week. At the very least, TRY.
2. Sometimes you just need to pick a weekend, and roll around in bed together watching Netflix over FaceTime or Skype. Spend as much quality time together as possible. Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean you don’t have to put in effort to make time for each other.
3. If you’re sad, go ahead and cry your heart out. Even if you end up crying every week. Don’t hide it and cry yourself to sleep, it will just make you even more upset and possibly agitated at your spouse. Voice your sadness. This is something you have to work out together.
4. Cute little surprises for each other is vital. Whether it’s a nice good morning text, or a video telling your spouse how much you miss them. It makes you feel special and loved.
5. It sucks. Plain and simple. I give props to anyone else who has gone through their initial years of marriage separated. Thank goodness the time apart we have will only be our first year of marriage.

About Rusty Porter:

1. His sleep is very valuable. I’d say he were like a bear, but they have hibernating seasons, Rusty has hibernating weekends. Don’t disturb when he’s sleepy.
2. I have never met someone as patient and genuinely curious as he is. He might get upset or confused, but he doesn’t get impatient. He doesn’t stop pestering me until he knows that I’m okay, and if he doesn’t understand something, he will try his best until he does.
3. He absolutely loves his bestfriends. I had no idea fantasy football was a "thing"!
4. Definitely a rule follower, but the good kind. He does the right thing, even when no one is watching, or cares. Believe me, I've tried to get him to break the rules!
5. There is no amount of malicious intent in his bones. Zero. Zip. Zilch.

It’s only been a little under six months, but I’ve learned a lot. Just thought I'd write down a little bit of it.

If I told you that prophets roamed the earth today...

I realized that it's been a seriously long time since I stood up and bore my testimony in sacrament, and I've been told that the best way to keep your testimony, is to bear it continuously. I know this isn't church, and it's definitely not Fast and Testimony Sunday, but I feel like this blog is as good as any other place to bear my testimony, in the presence of my friends and family.

My life has always been full of miracles. When I was five years old, I got bit in the face by a rotweiler, and survived with a tiny scar on my face today that's barely noticeable. In the seventh grade, I snoozed on my alarm for the last day of school before winter break, and woke up again to the sounds of my brother screaming that our house was burning down. We all survived. In Basic Combat Training, I had stress fractures on my pelvis and lower back. I didn't think I was ever going to make it through and get out of there, but after seven months, I succeeded. Throughout all those trials and victories, I never really thanked God. I didn't believe He existed, and if He did, I certainly didn't believe that He cared. None of my Christian friends could get through to me. Why else would the world be in so much misery? Why would someone put me on this Earth, knowing that in the future, I would have no desire to live? What kind of agency is Heaven or Hell? I guess you can say that eventually, I had a personal vendetta against God.

So what happened? What changed? I discovered the truth. I searched for it with real intent, and I listened with an open mind. Things started making sense. My questions that no one else could have answered before started getting answered. My anger and hurt faded, and was replaced with happiness and love. Eventually, the damage I intentionally caused myself started to fade out of existence and I became at peace with the world. I was no longer a self-destructive person. On May 20, 2012, I got baptized and was confirmed a member into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and since then I have been blessed tenfold, and then some.

And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. - Matthew 16:19

Last Saturday, August 31st, 2013 I was endowed and sealed for time and eternity to my husband, Russell Martin Porter in the Oakland, CA temple.

I'm a proud Mormon, and thankful for the knowledge that I have received. I believe not only that the Bible is the true word of God as long as it is translated correctly, but that The Book of Mormon, written by Mormon and translated into English by Joseph Smith is also the true word of God. I believe that there are living prophets in these latter days, rivaling the prophets of old, and that Joseph Smith is one of them. I believe that the old church of Jesus Christ has once again been restored on Earth today, and that it is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the one and true church. I believe that anyone, absolutely anyone, that truly seeks the truth will find it in the pages of The Book of Mormon. I believe in the truth, and I know it is true, because I have prayed, and my prayers have been answered by my own personal revelation.