Things I've learned from being married.

In General:

1. Your life just isn’t your own anymore. You are married for better or for worse. Make decisions that are best for YOURSELF and your SPOUSE. Oh, and don’t forget to discuss it with your spouse before making a decision on something, as insignificant as you think it may be because what you think might be best isn’t best for your spouse.
2. You know the whole don’t change for anyone quote that people like to throw around? Yeah. You’re MARRIED. If you want that relationship to last, you’re going to have to make changes. You’re going to have to suck things up and compromise. Setting goals for each other is a good thing!
3. It’s probably best to combine your finances. That way, there’s complete trust in each other. If you can’t do that, then why get married in the first place? Someone making more than the other person shouldn’t matter, you’re in it TOGETHER. Plus, it makes you think twice about spending money, because it’s not just yours anymore. Setting up a “just in case” or secret bank account is setting yourself up for failure, not only is it a sign of a lack of trust, but you’re telling yourself that things aren’t going to work and you need a way out.
4. If things get rough, and you disagree about something, and you’re both upset, walking away is NOT the best option. MARRIAGE isn’t something that you should walk away from. It takes TONS of work, every single day. Remember WHY you got married, and put in the effort to make things work.
5. Don’t ever put your spouse down. EVER. This person should be your best friend, your other half, your team mate in everything that you do. No one will ever be more important than the person you married. So be encouraging and supportive. You’re helping each other progress and become not just a better spouse, but a better person in general.

About being apart:

1. Every single trip possible to see each other is necessary. If you have the money, make it happen. If you don’t have the money, find a way to make it happen. Whether it’s for a weekend, or a week. At the very least, TRY.
2. Sometimes you just need to pick a weekend, and roll around in bed together watching Netflix over FaceTime or Skype. Spend as much quality time together as possible. Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean you don’t have to put in effort to make time for each other.
3. If you’re sad, go ahead and cry your heart out. Even if you end up crying every week. Don’t hide it and cry yourself to sleep, it will just make you even more upset and possibly agitated at your spouse. Voice your sadness. This is something you have to work out together.
4. Cute little surprises for each other is vital. Whether it’s a nice good morning text, or a video telling your spouse how much you miss them. It makes you feel special and loved.
5. It sucks. Plain and simple. I give props to anyone else who has gone through their initial years of marriage separated. Thank goodness the time apart we have will only be our first year of marriage.

About Rusty Porter:

1. His sleep is very valuable. I’d say he were like a bear, but they have hibernating seasons, Rusty has hibernating weekends. Don’t disturb when he’s sleepy.
2. I have never met someone as patient and genuinely curious as he is. He might get upset or confused, but he doesn’t get impatient. He doesn’t stop pestering me until he knows that I’m okay, and if he doesn’t understand something, he will try his best until he does.
3. He absolutely loves his bestfriends. I had no idea fantasy football was a "thing"!
4. Definitely a rule follower, but the good kind. He does the right thing, even when no one is watching, or cares. Believe me, I've tried to get him to break the rules!
5. There is no amount of malicious intent in his bones. Zero. Zip. Zilch.

It’s only been a little under six months, but I’ve learned a lot. Just thought I'd write down a little bit of it.