Sometimes, you just feel like an ungrateful brat.

This weekend has been something that I've needed since I got here to Texas; it was everything I dreamed of, and more. Just being able to reach out and touch my husband while sleeping was surreal. I'm pretty sure I spent more time staring at him than I did sleeping! But that wasn't all. I got to spend time with my other loved ones that I left behind in California. I got to attend church back at the wonderful POM-YSA ward, and I even got to meet part of my new family! To be surrounded again by so much love has brought me so much comfort and helped to replenish my spirits. So I would like to thank everyone that I got to see this weekend, for helping make my trip so much more wonderful than what I imagined.

With even your strongest faith, God will not always reward you immediately according to your desires. Rather, God will respond with what in His eternal plan is best for you, when it will yield the greatest advantage. Be thankful that sometimes God lets you struggle for a long time before that answer comes. That causes your faith to increase and your character to grow. - Elder Richard G. Scott

This was a quote that was read during a Relief Society lesson on Sunday, and it's not like the words and principles are new to me. But something about it struck a chord deep inside me that day, because I have a secret to confess. It kills me a little that my Kite and I didn't get married in the temple. Not so much because of the idea of getting married in the temple, but for the blessings that come from it. At the moment, getting sealed to him for eternity is probably my biggest desire. We went into our marriage knowing that if we had a civil marriage, we would be forced to wait a year until we would be allowed to enter the temple. Definitely not ideal, but when Heavenly Father tells you to get married, you get married. I'm not saying I'm unhappy with the choice that I've made or that I regret it (I never will), I'm saying that I didn't understand why Heavenly Father would tell us to do something when he knew my deepest desire was to be married for eternity.  We could have just waited until July to be married in the temple.

Slowly, but surely, His plan is unraveling. Kite and I just found out (from our wonderful YSA bishop) that because we got married before my one year anniversary of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we can get sealed as soon as the one year from my confirmation date passes. Guess who got baptized and confirmed on May 20, 2012?! We've both talked to our new bishops respectively, and they've come to a consensus that yes, our YSA bishop is correct, and we ARE able to be sealed. My biggest worries are being laid to rest. The date and location haven't been decided (we planned on the Oakland temple on July 20th, but it turns out the temple will be closed for six weeks starting in mid June) but we will get there. We won't have to wait a year in anticipation and uncertainty.

Kite mentioned that he had a feeling that if we didn't get married the day that we did, we probably wouldn't be together today, and I would have to completely agree. December definitely felt way too far away, but even if we decided to wait until July... I don't think it would have ever happened. We only just found out that the Oakland temple would be closed during July, so we wouldn't have been able to be married there at that time anyway. The date would have to be pushed back, and the more time that I'm given to contemplate on something, the bigger the chance of me turning it down and running away. I've got a rabbit-like skittish tendency. In the span of our less than three months of dating, I tried to break up with him at least three times already. Being in Texas alone and engaged, I would have definitely broken things off and just ignored his phone calls (I'll admit that the brat inside me has contemplated those thoughts very many times, but what kind of wife would I be to shut my husband out when he's only trying to make things better?). It would have been way too easy for me to push aside my fiancé.

So now I understand a little bit better, because if you think about it, the day that Rusty and I get sealed would very likely be the same date that we would have gotten married in the temple. Heavenly Father wasn't trying to deny me something I wanted when He told us to get married that day. He was merely making sure that my hands would be glued to Kite's string, so I wouldn't let go during the storms to come. God knows what I want. He knows my deepest desires. He also knows what's best for me. His answer might not be one that I like, or expect, but as long as I'm obedient, He will reward me in His own time. My Kite and I might not have waited until I was able to be endowed and married in the temple, but we don't have to wait a year to get sealed to each other either, and that's the best news of all. 

Debt Free in 3...2...1...

For the past few months, I've been placing special focus on finances. At the start of the year I decided to get myself organized and set up separate bank accounts to help me manage my money better, rather than having just one lump sum in an account. I had already decided on having a savings, into which I made regular deposits after deducting my bills, and leaving myself a cushion for emergencies. I tried to be fairly frugal with spending. I was better off than most of my peers as far as money management. When Yain and I started dating seriously, I was so happy to find out that she was pretty great with her finances as well. We shared a lot of ideas on how money should be used and what to do with it when it was in the bank. As we neared marriage, I started to realize how big of a blessing this was. It's said that a huge part of divorces are caused by financial disagreements, right? I don't want anything coming between me and my Nana, especially not money.

We were so serious about the safe-keeping of our money that we actually started talking finances and combining bank accounts on our honeymoon haha. I love that we can be on the such the same wavelength that we can be goofing off and rolling around laughing one minute and have a totally grownup conversation about money the next.

Going into our marriage, we've decided to set up a budgeting plan to get the most out of our money and be ready for whatever comes in the future. The biggest obstacle we've faced so far in our financial freedom is my car. It's not an insurmountable amount of debt, but... It's a brand new, 2013 MINI Cooper Sport with a couple of advanced packages just because I wanted them. Kitsch - That's his name (Yes, my car is a BOY) - is a fast, fun gift of British engineering, and I absolutely love my driving experience. All that flashiness, however, did set me back a bit financially. A debt that would be paid off in time.

I'd been working on paying it off for a few months now, and when we got married, we decided quickly that one of our very first financial goals needed to be this: debt free as soon as possible.

Well folks, after combining our finances and using them wisely, Nana and Kite are pleased to announce that today we mailed the letter containing the check that will pay off our beautiful MINI in full. That's right - as soon as they receive it, we will be completely debt free. Man it feels amazing to say that. Woohoo! I may have done a little happy dance after mailing it. Don't worry though, nobody saw it. At least... Not too many people.

Fitting that the stamp I used to send it simply says "Liberty Forever". Here's to many more years of sweet, sweet Liberty.

Rusty Porter, if you don't marry me, I'm going to punch you in the face.

Do you remember when I said that to you? I don't think the thought of marriage had even entered your head yet! We have definitely been through a whirlwind of emotions since then, haven't we? Three break up attempts with you later (yes, three!), and look where we are: our first complete official month of marriage! Come a long way, haven't we? Haha.

We've made it to a month today; since getting married at least. And even though in our one month of being married, I've only got to spend five days of it with you, I don't regret the decision at all. Not even if we have to wait three more years until both of our contracts are up in the military to really get to be with each other as husband and wife. Not now, not ever. Because the idea of not having the most caring, loving and amazing man in the history of existence be mine, is so much worse than the time we will be spending apart.

Most people are going to think it's silly that I'm so excited about just a month of being married to you, but I don't think they understand. The concept of time works so differently for us. Every single day spent with you seems to be eternity, yet it passes by so quickly. It's like we're stuck in a bubble of each other, and I feel like we've been together forever.

I love you, Russell Martin Porter, with every fiber of my being. And even though I can be a giant brat a majority of the time, please don't ever think that I'll be letting you go. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, always and forever, right?