Things I've learned from being married.

In General:

1. Your life just isn’t your own anymore. You are married for better or for worse. Make decisions that are best for YOURSELF and your SPOUSE. Oh, and don’t forget to discuss it with your spouse before making a decision on something, as insignificant as you think it may be because what you think might be best isn’t best for your spouse.
2. You know the whole don’t change for anyone quote that people like to throw around? Yeah. You’re MARRIED. If you want that relationship to last, you’re going to have to make changes. You’re going to have to suck things up and compromise. Setting goals for each other is a good thing!
3. It’s probably best to combine your finances. That way, there’s complete trust in each other. If you can’t do that, then why get married in the first place? Someone making more than the other person shouldn’t matter, you’re in it TOGETHER. Plus, it makes you think twice about spending money, because it’s not just yours anymore. Setting up a “just in case” or secret bank account is setting yourself up for failure, not only is it a sign of a lack of trust, but you’re telling yourself that things aren’t going to work and you need a way out.
4. If things get rough, and you disagree about something, and you’re both upset, walking away is NOT the best option. MARRIAGE isn’t something that you should walk away from. It takes TONS of work, every single day. Remember WHY you got married, and put in the effort to make things work.
5. Don’t ever put your spouse down. EVER. This person should be your best friend, your other half, your team mate in everything that you do. No one will ever be more important than the person you married. So be encouraging and supportive. You’re helping each other progress and become not just a better spouse, but a better person in general.

About being apart:

1. Every single trip possible to see each other is necessary. If you have the money, make it happen. If you don’t have the money, find a way to make it happen. Whether it’s for a weekend, or a week. At the very least, TRY.
2. Sometimes you just need to pick a weekend, and roll around in bed together watching Netflix over FaceTime or Skype. Spend as much quality time together as possible. Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean you don’t have to put in effort to make time for each other.
3. If you’re sad, go ahead and cry your heart out. Even if you end up crying every week. Don’t hide it and cry yourself to sleep, it will just make you even more upset and possibly agitated at your spouse. Voice your sadness. This is something you have to work out together.
4. Cute little surprises for each other is vital. Whether it’s a nice good morning text, or a video telling your spouse how much you miss them. It makes you feel special and loved.
5. It sucks. Plain and simple. I give props to anyone else who has gone through their initial years of marriage separated. Thank goodness the time apart we have will only be our first year of marriage.

About Rusty Porter:

1. His sleep is very valuable. I’d say he were like a bear, but they have hibernating seasons, Rusty has hibernating weekends. Don’t disturb when he’s sleepy.
2. I have never met someone as patient and genuinely curious as he is. He might get upset or confused, but he doesn’t get impatient. He doesn’t stop pestering me until he knows that I’m okay, and if he doesn’t understand something, he will try his best until he does.
3. He absolutely loves his bestfriends. I had no idea fantasy football was a "thing"!
4. Definitely a rule follower, but the good kind. He does the right thing, even when no one is watching, or cares. Believe me, I've tried to get him to break the rules!
5. There is no amount of malicious intent in his bones. Zero. Zip. Zilch.

It’s only been a little under six months, but I’ve learned a lot. Just thought I'd write down a little bit of it.

If I told you that prophets roamed the earth today...

I realized that it's been a seriously long time since I stood up and bore my testimony in sacrament, and I've been told that the best way to keep your testimony, is to bear it continuously. I know this isn't church, and it's definitely not Fast and Testimony Sunday, but I feel like this blog is as good as any other place to bear my testimony, in the presence of my friends and family.

My life has always been full of miracles. When I was five years old, I got bit in the face by a rotweiler, and survived with a tiny scar on my face today that's barely noticeable. In the seventh grade, I snoozed on my alarm for the last day of school before winter break, and woke up again to the sounds of my brother screaming that our house was burning down. We all survived. In Basic Combat Training, I had stress fractures on my pelvis and lower back. I didn't think I was ever going to make it through and get out of there, but after seven months, I succeeded. Throughout all those trials and victories, I never really thanked God. I didn't believe He existed, and if He did, I certainly didn't believe that He cared. None of my Christian friends could get through to me. Why else would the world be in so much misery? Why would someone put me on this Earth, knowing that in the future, I would have no desire to live? What kind of agency is Heaven or Hell? I guess you can say that eventually, I had a personal vendetta against God.

So what happened? What changed? I discovered the truth. I searched for it with real intent, and I listened with an open mind. Things started making sense. My questions that no one else could have answered before started getting answered. My anger and hurt faded, and was replaced with happiness and love. Eventually, the damage I intentionally caused myself started to fade out of existence and I became at peace with the world. I was no longer a self-destructive person. On May 20, 2012, I got baptized and was confirmed a member into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and since then I have been blessed tenfold, and then some.

And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. - Matthew 16:19

Last Saturday, August 31st, 2013 I was endowed and sealed for time and eternity to my husband, Russell Martin Porter in the Oakland, CA temple.

I'm a proud Mormon, and thankful for the knowledge that I have received. I believe not only that the Bible is the true word of God as long as it is translated correctly, but that The Book of Mormon, written by Mormon and translated into English by Joseph Smith is also the true word of God. I believe that there are living prophets in these latter days, rivaling the prophets of old, and that Joseph Smith is one of them. I believe that the old church of Jesus Christ has once again been restored on Earth today, and that it is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the one and true church. I believe that anyone, absolutely anyone, that truly seeks the truth will find it in the pages of The Book of Mormon. I believe in the truth, and I know it is true, because I have prayed, and my prayers have been answered by my own personal revelation. 

Twelve days until eternity.

This morning, my Kite called me during church to tell me that the entire morning, he had been feeling weird. That he missed me, and not just in an "I miss you" sort of way. He really missed me. He missed me in a way that was more like he needed me. He needed me to be with him when he woke up in the mornings, and to be by his side.

It was really out of character for him. Not to say that he's not loving towards me or anything, but I'm usually the one that's an emotional wreck. When I see other couples together being cutesy and loving with each other, I have to focus my attention on something else, because it makes my heart ache. I honestly can't even fathom what it would be like to not have to catch a plane on Monday when the weekend is over. To not have to say goodbye. To sleep in and have lazy weekends, because we're not in a rush to do as much as we can together in the little time that we have. Sometimes, I think that it really sucks to be apart from my husband in our very first year of marriage. That it's not fair.

Then I remember how very blessed I am. How I found the love of my life at 21, and got happily married. How I've been receiving so much support and love from such wonderful friends and family. How even though we had a civil marriage, we're able to be sealed in the temple for eternity without waiting an entire year. How my orders got changed to Hawaii two hours before my plane took off. How if my orders didn't change, I'd have to reenlist for another three years just to be stationed in Hawaii (it's a three year commitment to be stationed in Hawaii) with my husband. How one year apart is so much better than two and a half with a reenlistment or three and a half years without. How it honestly could not have happened any other way, and even though it sucks, it's the very best hand we could have ever been dealt.

When I look back on everything... on how things happened and the way things played out, I know without a doubt that Rusty and I have been following the road that Heavenly Father had laid out for us. It's been so very hard to be apart from each other, but with every little miracle, I feel like Heavenly Father is whispering in my ear, "Keep going, you're on the right path."

Let's talk about sex.

I don't get it. I really don't. Why is it that the media gets bashed for flaunting skinny girls all over the cover of magazines, and labeling them as the perfect example of what women should look like, but sex is totally fine? Is it because being skinny puts down the self esteem of about 99% of the female population? Because I'm here to say that careless sex can do the same thing. What? You think that because someone has a sex life, that they're totally fine emotionally? Just go get laid! You'll feel better. Come on, ladies. Admit it, whether you want to or not. Sex MEANS something to you (I'm sure it means something to guys too, they're just less likely to admit it), one night stands are NOT okay. Get physical, and get attached. Careless sex is so damaging emotionally. Why are so many people letting it sell? Why is it okay?

Let it be known that I was a virgin until my husband and I got married. I was a virgin, and I was proud of it. I've always planned to be a virgin until I got married - even before I became a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Why? Because I would hate to let someone else have a part of me that I could NEVER get back, if things didn't work out.

Sex is great, I get it. It makes you feel wonderful, and sexy and wanted, and wonderful. It's the "cool" thing to do. What? You're a senior and still a virgin? Loser! I'm here to tell you that the media is wrong. Your peers are wrong. YOU are wrong, if you think having sex is just a hobby or something to do to get that feeling of exhilaration.

I'm not trying to give one of those holier-than-thou-it's-totally-against-the-ten-commandments type of talks. This is me speaking out as someone who believes in love, not just for myself, but for EVERYONE out there. If you're not a virgin, that's cool. If you like to have sex with a whole bunch of people, good for you. I'm not judging, it's not my place. Well - let's be honest, maybe I am a little. That's just a little gross, do you even know who your partner has been with? Anyway, what I DO want to get across with this post is this:

If I had sex with my husband and we broke up, there would be nothing left of me. Yes, I'm that emotionally pathetic, I'm not afraid to admit it. No, I won't buck up and be a woman of strong character. I will not hide away my feelings and pretend that I'm not hurt and dying inside while trying to cover it all up by having more sex with other people. I won't hide who I am (actually, I just might, with a little bit of alcohol), but others might. Trying to cover up their unhappiness and scars by delving deeper into self deprecation and building up walls around themselves.

Yes, sex is great. But it's so much more than that. It's something special. I know how corny I sound right now, but trust me on this. It means so much more than a one night stand. It's so much more than an experiment. It's so much more than a high that you get. It's you connecting with someone else, and showing your love for each other. It's about letting someone in and trusting them in your most vulnerable state. It's showing someone a part of you that not everyone gets to see. It's a way to show someone that you love them.

So please. I am begging all of you. Don't let the media win. Don't let careless sex sell. Don't let the teens out there think it's okay. Don't let yourself think it's okay. It's NOT.

Let the Countdown Begin!

First of all, thank you all so very much for the prayers and thoughts. I got word that our YSA ward in Monterey fasted for us on fast-Sunday. They are just too awesome! I'm currently in the barracks over here in Hawaii at the moment, I've finally figured out where I belong after rushing around in circles. I probably won't get to live in a house until my Kite gets here (I'll still try!!), but I haven't been this happy overall being apart from my husband since... ever. Texas really drained a lot from me, emotionally and spiritually. I really thought I would never get out of Texas, and here I am. Yet not only did I make it out of Texas, I got my orders changed two hours before my plane left. My life is truly filled with miracles, not just the small ones, but the big ones too. It amazes me everyday that Heavenly Father deems me worthy of the many blessings he's bestowed upon me. Then I thought about it some more, and realized that these miracles and blessings only happen because of you guys. I know that none of it would have been able to happen without the love, and support of you all, our family and friends.

I was unpacking my things last night, and decided to pull out the bag of memories that I saved up from when Rusty and I were dating. It's funny because I really didn't think that we could get any closer than we already were at the time. I didn't think it would be possible for me to love him even more than I did back then. There's definitely something different about loving your boyfriend, and loving your husband.

It's not letting the other person go to bed upset because of a disagreement, and taking care of the problem right away, no matter how annoyed or tired you are. It's waking up wishing you could poke and prod your spouse to see how annoying you can be before they pay you any attention and get up for the day. It's being honest with each other about anything and everything, letting them know what's going on inside your head even though they don't "need" to know. It's setting aside friends and social activities to spend time together, even though you're not doing anything special in particular but staring at each other through a phone. It's encouraging each other to do better, and be better, always conscious that the other person's opinion matters. It's knowing that no matter what happens, the two of you have vowed to spend the rest of your lives together and being aware of what that means.

In twenty days, Kite and I will be sealed for time and eternity. If I had no idea what marriage could do to our love for each other, I can't even imagine what being sealed will be like. Where we are today, and what our future holds, none of it would have been possible without the love, support, and guidance of our family, friends, and God. Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart: thank you all so very much.

After our first weekend apart, I came home Sunday night to find this on my bed.

The Small Things

This post is gonna be short I suppose. I've been feeling grateful for the flood of blessings recently. Thanks for the prayers everyone. It's said that you don't understand what you have until it's gone. That's true. But it isn't true that we can't appreciate things while we have them. Even the small things.

Before you get married, you tend to (or at least I did) think of the big things. Wedding. Kids. Finances. Goals... And those are really important things to consider and discuss with your spouse. I've been so glad on several occasions that we figured most of those things out before tying the knot, because it has made a huge difference in our happiness as a married couple today. Being on the same page is SO IMPORTANT.

What I didn't think of though, are the things that've been on my mind lately. The small things. Before we were married, I didn't stop to consider the times I'd be sunburned and she'd tenderly cover me with Aloe Vera. Nor did I ever imagine I'd be staying up late with her on FaceTime when she's sick and can't sleep, knowing that I can't do anything for her but just give her my time. I skipped over thinking of the songs we'd sing in the car, or the long conversations we'd have. The inside jokes. The moral support. The fun we'd get out of making silly faces at each other. The way she'd remember my favorite appetizer, or the way I'd know her favorite TV shows. I couldn't have imagined these things before, and now that I have them, I don't want to let them slip away unnoticed. The small things. The things that make life worth living. Because at the end of the day, it isn't the car we bought (which I love, by the way), or how much we've got in our savings that really makes me happy. It's those little daily interactions that we take in our stride. Those are the things that bring me the joy I seek.

Thank God for the small things -- And for my Nana. Without her, I'd never enjoy them.

Please pray for us.

When I first got to Texas, I thought I made it very clear to my chain of command that I wanted to try and get stationed with my husband, and had asked everyone I could for advice on what to do to make that happen. Apparently that wasn't the case. Everyone I had talked to, my NCOs here and my future NCO in Colorado, had told me that it would be impossible and that I would have to suck it up and wait two years before being able to change duty stations in order to be with my husband."Shouldn't have married a Marine, Porter!" Of course I won't be taking no for an answer, Army protocol or not, there's always loop holes somewhere. So I figured I'll have to wait until I got out of training before I could actually make any progress.

About three weeks ago, my class and I were getting ready to process paperwork to leave training and had a briefing to attend. During that brief, one of my classmates who is an MOS Transfer (switching jobs and attending more training) had asked me why I didn't get my orders changed before arrival to my new duty station so I won't be locked in for the two years. He was shocked that no one had told me it was a possibility, and honestly, I was a bit miffed myself. So right away I brought it up to my chain of command, and after a week (my platoon sergeant was and still is extremely busy) we got the ball rolling. She made it clear that there were no promises that it will go through and get approved. Kite and I didn't have our hopes up anyway.

Then rumors started trickling in... another soldier had gotten married, and had his orders changed within 24 hours. I had gotten this news over the weekend. It had been a week and still no news on my paperwork. I honestly can't help but be frustrated. Why is it taking so long? It can't be because I'm so late in the game, this kid has his changed within 24 hours! Is it because my husband doesn't have his orders yet? Or maybe because he's a Marine and I'm a soldier? At the end of the day today, after uniform inspections, my platoon sergeant told me she wanted me in her office. Still, I didn't have my hopes up.

We had to resubmit the paperwork. Apparently because it goes up to the Department of the Army, my commander can only recommend approval, and not actually approve it. She assured me that she would do her best to fight tooth and nail for me if she had to, in the time that we have until I leave (THURSDAY!!!) and again told me not to get my hopes up -- they weren't. She didn't want to disappoint me.

So this is where the story ends, and where I asked for your prayers. I'm not usually one to ask for help (just ask my husband, he gets frustrated with me all the time), but I feel like I would be more at peace with the outcome. I'm not asking for you all to pray that my paperwork gets approved and that my orders get changed, but I'm asking that you all will pray for the best outcome. What's best for Kite and I in the future. If Hawaii isn't the place for me, and my orders aren't changed, I can accept it if I know that many thoughts and prayers were put into the outcome. If Heavenly Father wants us apart for two years for whatever reason (or maybe somehow Kite will end up in Colorado with me?), I want to know for a surety that good will come of it, and it's for the best.

So please, pray for us.

Thanks so much for the love and support!

Please, don't be mistaken.

Just going over the blog, I was thinking that people reading this might think that it's just some overly cutesy and fluffy we're-the-perfect-couple blog. I grew up in the 90's, but most of my memories start in the late 90's, the time of chick flicks like Clueless, She's All That, 10 Things I Hate About You, and my favorite - Titanic. So my view on love and romance is a bit skewed, obviously. I didn't fall in love with my ex-step-brother, or win the heart of the most popular guy in school (or least), and Leonardo DiCaprio was definitely not pining for me. I guess what I'm trying to say is this: my life isn't a movie, and I'm not perfect. Life doesn't work that way.

I don't know if anyone's noticed or cared, but the entire month of June has passed away, and this is my first post of it! June has been a tough month for me, probably the toughest of all months so far. I've been pretty stressed out, irritated, Kite-sick, and crazy emotional. The only thing that's grounded me to reality has been Kite. I said that I'm not perfect, and although he's pretty darn close, I'll admit that Kite isn't perfect either. Neither is our relationship. We have problems, we disagree, I throw bratty fits, and am occasionally unnecessarily mean (notice that I'm the one being a pain in the butt). But I think the key to it all is remembering that we love each other and how much we love each other. No matter what the problem is, I think that's the thing to keep in mind for everyone. As much as Kite and I aren't perfect people, we're perfect for each other; we make it that way.

If you're going through a tough time with your significant other... just remember that you love that person (if you do). Take a moment, breathe, and humble yourself. If you love someone, please treat that person with respect. Don't put them down, don't call them names, and don't make them feel unworthy. No one is perfect - besides God, of course. Don't let something little ruin something great.

“Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right.” - President Ezra Taft Benson

Happy Birthday, Honey!

I'm not typically one to always wear my emotions on my sleeve. According to Yain I always walk around with a scowl on my face. Maybe I do haha. But since today is not a typical day, atypical behavior is in order :) You see, it's the anniversary of the day that my favorite girl in the whole world was born, and I don't really feel like keeping it to myself.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!

I know you're 22 years old, but this marks the first birthday that you've been more than "you". You're part of "us" now. So Happy Birthday! Here's to many more, better than the first. It tears my heart out not to be able to be with you on this day of all days. This day that's all about YOU, the amazingly wonderful woman that you are. I wish I could communicate how completely I am in love with you. I wish I could help you understand what you mean to me, and how I'd be so broken without you. I wish so much that I could make it clear that I'll never hurt you or leave you. That I'll be your rock and your anchor in this crazy world that swirls around us, threatening to break us apart. I wish there were words strong enough to say what I mean, but they just don't exist. So after so many attempts to tell you how I feel, I have to resort to the worn-out, but still not-used-enough words that we've been longing to say and hear in return since we were children. I love you. I love you, Yain. I love you.

Happy birthday, Honey. Here's to many more. No matter what else happens in between now and your 23rd, always remember that your Kite loves you. Always.

Sometimes, you just feel like an ungrateful brat.

This weekend has been something that I've needed since I got here to Texas; it was everything I dreamed of, and more. Just being able to reach out and touch my husband while sleeping was surreal. I'm pretty sure I spent more time staring at him than I did sleeping! But that wasn't all. I got to spend time with my other loved ones that I left behind in California. I got to attend church back at the wonderful POM-YSA ward, and I even got to meet part of my new family! To be surrounded again by so much love has brought me so much comfort and helped to replenish my spirits. So I would like to thank everyone that I got to see this weekend, for helping make my trip so much more wonderful than what I imagined.

With even your strongest faith, God will not always reward you immediately according to your desires. Rather, God will respond with what in His eternal plan is best for you, when it will yield the greatest advantage. Be thankful that sometimes God lets you struggle for a long time before that answer comes. That causes your faith to increase and your character to grow. - Elder Richard G. Scott

This was a quote that was read during a Relief Society lesson on Sunday, and it's not like the words and principles are new to me. But something about it struck a chord deep inside me that day, because I have a secret to confess. It kills me a little that my Kite and I didn't get married in the temple. Not so much because of the idea of getting married in the temple, but for the blessings that come from it. At the moment, getting sealed to him for eternity is probably my biggest desire. We went into our marriage knowing that if we had a civil marriage, we would be forced to wait a year until we would be allowed to enter the temple. Definitely not ideal, but when Heavenly Father tells you to get married, you get married. I'm not saying I'm unhappy with the choice that I've made or that I regret it (I never will), I'm saying that I didn't understand why Heavenly Father would tell us to do something when he knew my deepest desire was to be married for eternity.  We could have just waited until July to be married in the temple.

Slowly, but surely, His plan is unraveling. Kite and I just found out (from our wonderful YSA bishop) that because we got married before my one year anniversary of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we can get sealed as soon as the one year from my confirmation date passes. Guess who got baptized and confirmed on May 20, 2012?! We've both talked to our new bishops respectively, and they've come to a consensus that yes, our YSA bishop is correct, and we ARE able to be sealed. My biggest worries are being laid to rest. The date and location haven't been decided (we planned on the Oakland temple on July 20th, but it turns out the temple will be closed for six weeks starting in mid June) but we will get there. We won't have to wait a year in anticipation and uncertainty.

Kite mentioned that he had a feeling that if we didn't get married the day that we did, we probably wouldn't be together today, and I would have to completely agree. December definitely felt way too far away, but even if we decided to wait until July... I don't think it would have ever happened. We only just found out that the Oakland temple would be closed during July, so we wouldn't have been able to be married there at that time anyway. The date would have to be pushed back, and the more time that I'm given to contemplate on something, the bigger the chance of me turning it down and running away. I've got a rabbit-like skittish tendency. In the span of our less than three months of dating, I tried to break up with him at least three times already. Being in Texas alone and engaged, I would have definitely broken things off and just ignored his phone calls (I'll admit that the brat inside me has contemplated those thoughts very many times, but what kind of wife would I be to shut my husband out when he's only trying to make things better?). It would have been way too easy for me to push aside my fiancé.

So now I understand a little bit better, because if you think about it, the day that Rusty and I get sealed would very likely be the same date that we would have gotten married in the temple. Heavenly Father wasn't trying to deny me something I wanted when He told us to get married that day. He was merely making sure that my hands would be glued to Kite's string, so I wouldn't let go during the storms to come. God knows what I want. He knows my deepest desires. He also knows what's best for me. His answer might not be one that I like, or expect, but as long as I'm obedient, He will reward me in His own time. My Kite and I might not have waited until I was able to be endowed and married in the temple, but we don't have to wait a year to get sealed to each other either, and that's the best news of all. 

Debt Free in 3...2...1...

For the past few months, I've been placing special focus on finances. At the start of the year I decided to get myself organized and set up separate bank accounts to help me manage my money better, rather than having just one lump sum in an account. I had already decided on having a savings, into which I made regular deposits after deducting my bills, and leaving myself a cushion for emergencies. I tried to be fairly frugal with spending. I was better off than most of my peers as far as money management. When Yain and I started dating seriously, I was so happy to find out that she was pretty great with her finances as well. We shared a lot of ideas on how money should be used and what to do with it when it was in the bank. As we neared marriage, I started to realize how big of a blessing this was. It's said that a huge part of divorces are caused by financial disagreements, right? I don't want anything coming between me and my Nana, especially not money.

We were so serious about the safe-keeping of our money that we actually started talking finances and combining bank accounts on our honeymoon haha. I love that we can be on the such the same wavelength that we can be goofing off and rolling around laughing one minute and have a totally grownup conversation about money the next.

Going into our marriage, we've decided to set up a budgeting plan to get the most out of our money and be ready for whatever comes in the future. The biggest obstacle we've faced so far in our financial freedom is my car. It's not an insurmountable amount of debt, but... It's a brand new, 2013 MINI Cooper Sport with a couple of advanced packages just because I wanted them. Kitsch - That's his name (Yes, my car is a BOY) - is a fast, fun gift of British engineering, and I absolutely love my driving experience. All that flashiness, however, did set me back a bit financially. A debt that would be paid off in time.

I'd been working on paying it off for a few months now, and when we got married, we decided quickly that one of our very first financial goals needed to be this: debt free as soon as possible.

Well folks, after combining our finances and using them wisely, Nana and Kite are pleased to announce that today we mailed the letter containing the check that will pay off our beautiful MINI in full. That's right - as soon as they receive it, we will be completely debt free. Man it feels amazing to say that. Woohoo! I may have done a little happy dance after mailing it. Don't worry though, nobody saw it. At least... Not too many people.

Fitting that the stamp I used to send it simply says "Liberty Forever". Here's to many more years of sweet, sweet Liberty.

Rusty Porter, if you don't marry me, I'm going to punch you in the face.

Do you remember when I said that to you? I don't think the thought of marriage had even entered your head yet! We have definitely been through a whirlwind of emotions since then, haven't we? Three break up attempts with you later (yes, three!), and look where we are: our first complete official month of marriage! Come a long way, haven't we? Haha.

We've made it to a month today; since getting married at least. And even though in our one month of being married, I've only got to spend five days of it with you, I don't regret the decision at all. Not even if we have to wait three more years until both of our contracts are up in the military to really get to be with each other as husband and wife. Not now, not ever. Because the idea of not having the most caring, loving and amazing man in the history of existence be mine, is so much worse than the time we will be spending apart.

Most people are going to think it's silly that I'm so excited about just a month of being married to you, but I don't think they understand. The concept of time works so differently for us. Every single day spent with you seems to be eternity, yet it passes by so quickly. It's like we're stuck in a bubble of each other, and I feel like we've been together forever.

I love you, Russell Martin Porter, with every fiber of my being. And even though I can be a giant brat a majority of the time, please don't ever think that I'll be letting you go. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, always and forever, right?

Day 16 of being apart from my husband.

Today was particularly hard for me. I think it's finally starting to sink in that it's going to be months, maybe even years until I get to be with my Kite. Being in this situation makes it so easy to be frustrated. Why did it have to happen this way? What lesson is being learned? How could we possibly benefit from this experience? What's the point? The thoughts that I've buried so deep down inside me, that I didn't even know existed until I started typing this post. But now that it's out, I won't let it bring me down.

I am a child of God,

Rich blessings are in store;

If I but learn to do his will

I'll live with him once more

Who am I to be sad and mopey when others have endured worse? How could I possibly be upset, when I'm married to the most loving man on Earth? I've been too blessed to question His will; nonetheless, I still miss you terribly, Kite.

Love story, part 2.

I don't remember the exact moment I fell in love with my Kite, but I remember the exact moment that I knew I would fall in love with him. It was our very first meeting of the new year. We were in the parking lot of a public library, sitting in my car. He had brought me a Christmas gift, even though I had told him not to - I had toyed with the idea of getting him a gift myself, but I was playing it safe, remember? It turned out to be the best Christmas present I had received that Christmas (late or not), and yes, I would have to say it trumps the bunny phone case.

The first thing you must know about me, is that I'm a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I was baptized almost a year ago on the 20th of May, and I firmly believe that it only happened because two of the best missionaries Heavenly Father had in his care were sent to teach me. Of the two missionaries, one had finished her mission and returned back home to Arizona - guess where my Kite went home for the winter break? I vaguely remember texting him and telling him to look out for her at church on Sunday, so he could say hi to her for me. He had told me that he didn't find her at church and the chances of him running into her were very slim. I was disappointed, but I got over it.

So back in my car, he started off with the, "I know you said not to get you anything, but..." and pulled out his phone, telling me that there was a picture he wanted to show me. I was a bit worried, and confused. What is this guy doing? What kind of present is a picture? Well, the best kind. Turns out he did find my missionary, and he had taken a picture with her. Not only that, but he had brought me a card from her! Remember New Years when I made that phone call? That very same night, he had met up with her and gotten her to write me a card.

Throughout the texting that went on over break, I briefly mentioned that I love hand written letters, because they are so much more heartfelt than an email or message when someone takes the time to write something out. This sneaky boy had officially started to win my heart with the simplest of presents.

From that point on, I knew I was in trouble, but I couldn't stay away. I spent every possible moment with him, making up reasons to spend time together. Studying, breakfast, dinner, FHE, church - we were constantly together, and every day that I spent with him, I could feel myself falling harder and harder.

This is the picture that started us on this road.

Love story, part 1.

*Kite's random comments will appear in bold ;)

Rusty and I had met and known each other since July of 2012, and while I'll admit that there was an initial spark, I had never even considered having him be anything more to me than a friend -- due in part to my "I'll call you!" and never actually calling -- until a Family Home Evening event in December, when we were decorating a gingerbread house and cookies to take to a shelter with our friends. I got a distinct feeling that he may have liked me I definitely did (come on, girls have a natural affinity for this kind of stuff, we just like to pretend that we don't know), but it was too late. I'll be taking my final test and graduating from school that month, I'd never see him again. I love how she seemed to be *hoping* it wouldn't turn into anything. Girls are weird! But it wouldn't hurt to be friendly, right? Right! So when he invited me to make a snowman with him, I accepted. I'm very good at keeping guys in the friend zone. Not good enough...

Little did I know, that that invitation was part of an evil and insidious plan to seduce me. Seduction? She gives me more credit than I deserve! It opened me up to a gateway drug called texting. But I wasn't addicted yet. I knew not to take too many doses, to keep my distance. I still had a chance to escape, my test was right around the corner, and soon after I ace it, I'd be on a plane to Texas, and off I'd go. I was just dabbling for fun. The big test day came, and after the first ten questions, the computer system crashed. But it was too late, my confidence was shattered. I wasn't ready. The first part of the two day test was postponed until the next day. I vaguely remember receiving an invitation from him to buy me hot chocolate to make me feel better, but I really didn't have time for that nonsense. Honestly, I still had another portion of my test to take! Thursday. The day results would be posted at 1PM. I felt awful about how I did. I failed. Of course I did. I wasn't prepared. We crowded around the board at 1PM, but the results weren't posted yet. Darn, guess we'd find out on Friday. We left the school house, and meandered around campus a bit. Before leaving to go home, I figured I'd check the board one last time, just in case. I walked inside, and from one look at my mentor, I knew I failed. "I failed, didn't I? Just tell me I failed so I can leave." "Go look at it for yourself," she said. Sure enough, there was a 1/2+/1+ score listed by my name. I needed a 2/2/1+. I didn't even get close enough to that 2 with a 1+, pathetic. So I sent him a text, "How about that hot chocolate tonight?" See? She wanted to be seduced. ;)

I was indulging myself, trying to hide the deep disappointment I felt at my failure. So I kept texting him, and when he asked to take me out to dinner before our winter vacation started, I accepted. What could it hurt? The date was a success. He really had my attention, now. But I was still on my guard. Even if I still had a little more time in Monterey now that I didn't pass my test, it still wouldn't be enough. I had six more weeks at the least starting in January. Not nearly enough time for anything serious to happen. Right? Right. Throughout the two weeks of winter vacation, we kept in contact. No phone calls, but constant texting was definitely going on. Actually, our very first phone conversation was probably a less than one minute clip, at the very start of the new year of 2013. Being the silly little girl that I am, I wanted his number to be the first one in my outbound call list. I couldn't wait for him to get back into town. Hooked.

Why? And how...

Rusty, you've never had a blog before, why start one now? And can you keep it up? Good question.

I have historically had lots of difficulty keeping something like this going. I'll usually get really excited, start something up, make a "Hello world!" post, and never look back at it again. There's a key difference this time though, and something that makes me believe I'll write in this blog as often as I can: Yain wants me to. And it's important, if you think about it. Our situation is pretty unique. Well, unique for us at least. She and I were married less than a week before the Army took her away from me, and sent her off to Texas, leaving me in Monterey without my Nana. So from now until November, she and I will have next to no opportunities to even see each other in person. It's important that we record our feelings and what happens in our lives so we don't become disconnected from each other. So this is the record of our life together. Apart, but very much together.

So how did it happen? Honesty -- This is for posterity, right? We didn't expect it to go the way it did. At all, actually. We were originally planing on a December wedding. December?? Too far away! In the couple of days we were together over my school's week-long break, we decided to bump it up to July. Cool. But the more we thought about it, the more we felt uneasy about it. Not sure why, but we both woke up on the morning of Monday, April 1st feeling like it was just a bad idea. After talking about it, we weren't able to shake the feeling. We took the best course we could think of: take it to our Father in Heaven. We prayed about it. I had the funniest feeling ever during that prayer. So funny that I suggested we pray about it separately so I could investigate. While praying alone I got a distinct answer in confirmation of what I'd felt earlier. We shouldn't get married in July - We should get married now. I was baffled. It didn't make any sense; would God really be encouraging us to elope? Hesitantly, I took my answer to Yain. I made sure that she felt she'd received an answer before giving her my thoughts because I didn't want to sway her in that direction. The look on her face matched the immense relief in her voice when I told her what I'd felt as she said, "I'm so glad you went first. I feel exactly the same thing, but was embarrassed to say it because I thought you'd think I was crazy." Not as crazy as I felt, knowing that we'd both received an answer that was so absolutely preposterous. But the fact is, we felt good about it, and that's all that mattered.

I called my wonderfully patient and understanding mother to break the news. The only real question she had, after fifteen minutes of conversation was, "Can I come?" Dumbfounded for the second time that day, I assured her she most definitely could. Roughly eight hours later, I found myself crowded into a tiny room in one of the Washoe County administrative buildings in Reno, Nevada together with my favorite girl in the whole world, with her sister and my parents as witnesses. We were married there in that place, in what Yain and I both agree were the most unlikely of circumstances. To quote her, "Never did I ever think I would be eloping in a courthouse in Reno." I didn't either. It was so unexpected that it even took the two of us by surprise.

Of all things our wedding was, normal is not one of them. But in a way, it suits us perfectly. Rusty and Yain, Nana and Kite... So far from normal. We've had quite the adventure so far. Why stop now?

Chance.

Oh, how I've always prayed and asked to find him, my Kite. Little did I know, I had already met him, but I had ruled him out because I felt he didn't meet my standards. I was such a silly little girl.

It's funny how life works, but there is always a constant rule to it: things never go as planned. When I met my Kite, it wasn't love at first sight. We didn't even grow to love each other as friends. All it took was a chance. Not just a "yes", but a "yes" with a follow through. I'm convinced that after all that we've gone through with life, and the time that we could have had to get together, the failing of my test was the last chance my Heavenly Father was going to give me to find my eternal companion.

I've found you, Kite, and no matter how strong the winds get, I'm not letting go.

A beginning

In July of 2012, a young Marine, recently arrived in Monterey, California to begin a new phase in his training, was dragged by some friends to a local diner, where he sat at a table of others his age. Across from him sat a beautiful young woman who chatted easily with him about their mutual desire to study film. The Marine left that evening wondering how he might ask her out. Despite the initial spark, he didn't actually gather the nerve to ask her until December, shortly before they'd each leave to go home for Christmas. She had misgivings... She wasn't sure the Marine was a good match for her. Regardless, she said yes. Somehow it was a success, and after returning from the Christmas break, the two were inseperable. In April he proposed marriage. Amazingly, she said yes a second time. This is the story of their adventures in life together.

Nana, I love you.